(Grand Central Station bound Metro North train leaving Harlem-125th St.; resized photo courtesy of Eye On Transit
I was browsing Craig’s List earlier this morning. I find the site to be quite helpful in either picking up a good bargain or getting a great laugh. However this morning my browsing did not lead to either conclusion. After reading an entry on there, I was left scratching my head & asking WTF????
A Metro North commuter posted a story about a strange encounter they had with a fellow rider this past Monday. The story involves the cops, & deer urine. Yes, you read it correctly deer urine! I decided to save the story to my desktop just in case it got deleted. So here is the entire story word for word:
On Monday morning, October 8th, I got on the train in White Plains headed to NYC. It was the 9:30am express. I called Land Rover because my car was broken as usual. Yup…again. But, that’s a whole other fiasco.
As I was chatting in the vestibule area of the train, so as not to offend the other passengers with my banter. I felt something spray my back and than a wet sensation. I quickly turned, saw a middle aged business man in Kaki’s and a plaid shirt three feet away stick a small white bottle quickly in his pocket.
I said….”what did you spray me with”!!!! He said, “What are you talking about! I’m talking about that bottle in your pocket. I can see it and I saw you spray me. He turned and said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about and ran 10 feet back to his seat and acted like he was sleeping.”
I said… Sleeping!!!! I don’t think so….Are you Fcking kidding me. I’m getting the conductor and I’m having him call the police. We’ll discuss the little bottle in your pocket when we get Grand Central. Again he pleads…”I don’t know what you’re talking about. Your crazy”….
I said, “You want crazy you got it and I left to get the conductor”
We’ll I’m three cars down now and speaking with the conductor. Tell him some crazy guy sprayed me with something when I was talking on the phone in the vestibule area. He said… so what do you want me to do, call the cops. I said…ahh yeah call the cops. Conductor said fine… I turned and saw the middle aged business man three cars back run to the bathroom and I turned to head back to my seat… As I got there he came out of the bathroom and sat down. I looked in the bathroom but could not find anything.
Sitting there a strange smell began to omit from my shirt. It was very familiar smell. A rotten smell……At that exact time a guy walked up to me…He said, “Man I saw him spray something on you”… I said, I know…smell my shirt. He said, believe me we all smell it. WTF?????
The SMELL…I remembered it from hunting with my uncle… It was DEER PISS. He sprayed me with deer urine that you buy from the hunting store to mask the human smell from the deer’s. NOW. I am really PISSED.
I confront the guy in front of the entire train…YOU SPRAYED ME WITH DEER PISS YOU SICK FCK and head back towards the conductor. The guy jumps up and opens the door between train cars. He throws something off the train. Everyone sees him do it.
The conductor and I are now walking after the guy. He’s grabbed his briefcase and went five cars up. Obviously, he had hopes that we wouldn’t find him before the train got to 125th street. The cops are waiting for him…he knows it and I know it. We are now one train away and the conductor locks down the doors. The guy sees us and when the train slows to a near stop at 125th street platform…the guys runs back toward us, the conductor a big guy says get behind me…The middle aged well dressed loony climbs between the train cars and jumps…. Everyone is like HOLY SHIT.
The train doors open for the conductor and me. We lean out and see the serial sprayer running down the platform. Two of NYC finest step out from behind the elevator and close line his ass. He’s stuffed and cuffed. The cops separate us and they asked him why’d he jumped from a moving train and why he sprayed me…He tells him that I am after him. I wouldn’t leave him alone. He wanted to get away from me……..I’m crazy. Yes, I filled out a police report and they sent the guy to Bellevue for a psych eval….Lovin NY. Yes… I still smell like piss. I don’t need this shit. Anyways, Thought I give everyone a heads up of the frustrated serial sprayer who gets his rocks off by spraying commuters with deer piss. If your in the media and want to run a story on it….The complaint number is 13853, 10/08/07 @ 9:56am…. 125th street station.
I would like to say that I wish the story was phony. I would like to think that a fellow commuter is not a serial deer urine sprayer. However the flip side of me hopes we do not have a fellow commuter with too much free time on their hands to make up such an encounter. If they do, maybe they should be somewhere else instead of riding a form of public transportation.